Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Rumble strips road head = magical
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize