i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
