guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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