Moan for me like Helen Keller
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
