Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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