the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
