okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
