And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
