I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
