I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize