My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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