If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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