I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize