New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have aggressive nipples.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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