Your face is a jimmy john
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
