Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
