like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
