it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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