we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
