i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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