I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
