just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
