First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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