How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
