i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
