Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i love accidental penises.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
