i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
