I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
