It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
