i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize