haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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