Tell her she can't have a vagina
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Buhtt sex?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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