You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
