Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
