Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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