dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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