Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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