lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
