This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
