Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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