ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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