Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
