Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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