i just google imaged poop.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
