where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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