first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
