Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
