Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
