i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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