i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
