i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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