Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize