...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
