I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
