i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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