One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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