If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
