They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
