Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
