The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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