Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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