I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
