I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
