The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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