Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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