Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
