Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
