you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
