"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
