OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
